Obama Takes Charge

CHAPTER FIVE

Lounging back in a comfortable chair on his campaign plane, Airforce One, the President decides it's time to take charge of his re-election campaign. He notes a big headline on the front page of the nation's leading newspaper, The New York Establishment:

"ROMNEY CLOSING GAP!"

The media is panicky. Obama thinks: didn't everyone realize he was joking when he said he'd rather be a one-term President than a bad one? A joke, people!

It's time to take charge of his own campaign.

He knows, in fact, how he will win. There's not a question in his mind of course that he will. It's preordained. That's why he needs to put the Obama personality to the forefront, like last time. The name and image are irresistible.

For starters, he'll direct the Obama name be placed on every government property and object. There are millions of government cars alone which can say, on each side, "Your Federal Government At Work-- Barack Obama, President." With a photo of himself as logo.

Then there's the marketing, which can serve the dual purpose of promoting himself and raising funds, to close the fundraising gap with his slick business-backed opponent.

Obama pens, Obama stationary, Obama coffee mugs, Obama t-shirts, Obama handbags, Obama hats, Obama slacks, Obama underwear, Obama wedding service, Obama dinnerware sets, Obama frying pans, Obama towels and bathrobes, Obama pillowcases, Obama soap, Obama shampoo, Obama cologne, Obama toilet paper-- the possibilities are endless. Everywhere supporters look, with everything they do, they should see the name and image of their President. Maybe it's time for an Obama flag, which supporters-- and isn't every American at heart a supporter?-- can fly from their roofs.

As he ponders this, the President scribbles slogans across a large memo pad.

"The Private Sector Is Fine-- But It Could Be Better! The Public Sector Is Fine-- But It Could Be Better!"

Only if he puts his own genius to work, will this campaign prevail.

Aha! But his most brilliant idea-- that is yet to be announced, even to his staff. A way to fully leverage his worldwide universal popularity.

He's noted with some chagrin the Jubilee celebration the Brits put on for their doddering queen, placing on display through pomp and carriages the dull-witted in-bred Royals. For what? They no longer have an empire. As he watched the show on television, he thought, "Who cares?"

But the Brits, he acknowledges, do know how to put on a show.

He, President Obama, leader of not just the free world, but the entire world, will top it! He imagines a globally telecast entertainment Extravaganza, with he Obama himself as host. Invited with him on stage will be all his fellow world leader friends, from his good buddy Vladdie Putin to the nutjobs in Iran and North Korea. Even Assad from Syria. Well, no, maybe not Assad from Syria!

There will be a huge stage set! In gigantic letters, dwarfing the stage and performers, in flashing neon lights of changing colors, will be one word: "OBAMA!" Visible for miles. The planet will love him all over again . He needs their love, as he knows they need him. He'll be bigger than Tom Brady. Bigger than Lebron! Bigger than Justin Bieber even! Though he'll let the Beeb introduce him. Or Lady Gaga. Not Madonna.

Let's see Romney and his greedy backers top that!

If they're smart, the President muses, they'll give up now.